I used to be on a university campus final week and noticed automobiles unloading new college students. It made me nostalgic.
Then I noticed if mother and father have been recalling that milestone from, say, 50 years in the past, and fogeys have been recalling it from at the moment, we might be listening to two totally different tales …
OLD: “We drove our son to school immediately. What a proud second. He was a bit embarrassed by Mother and Dad coming as much as his room, however we promised to not make any ‘sq.’ jokes. We unpacked his trunk and Mother helped manage his drawers. We met his roommate, who appeared good. His identify is Scott.”
NEW: “We drove our younger prince to school immediately. What a proud second. He was embarrassed by having his mother and stepdad and pop and former stepmom and pop’s present girlfriend all coming as much as his room, so we needed to watch from a distance. We noticed him hook up his cable TV and his Xbox, then assemble his IKEA furnishings. We additionally met his roommate, who appeared good. Her identify is X. And we aren’t supposed to make use of the phrase ‘her.’ “
OLD: “After serving to our son grasp two posters on his wall — Albert Einstein and a band referred to as The Who — we went for a stroll round campus. We noticed the observatory, the mailroom and the scholar union. The cafeteria had a smooth ice cream machine, which made our boy very completely happy! Dad took him apart and stated, ‘Son, we all know the consuming age is eighteen, however please, go straightforward on the beer. You do not need to cross out on a fraternity’s garden.’ “
NEW: “After serving to our son grasp his flat display and encompass-sound audio system, we went for a stroll round campus. We noticed the 24-hour state-of-the-artwork train facility and the 24-hour Apple pc labs. He confirmed us the ‘protected areas’ the place no offensive phrases can be utilized, and the ‘therapeutic areas’ the place you’ll be able to go when you have been by accident uncovered to an offensive sentence. There have been seven cafeterias to select from, so we selected the non-GMO, gluten-free, nut-free, dairy-free, vegan facility, which made our younger individual very completely happy. His nonbiological father took him apart and stated, ‘Pay attention, pal, we all know the consuming age is 21, however because you’re 18, please go straightforward on the beer. You do not need to move out in a scorching tub and have it uploaded to YouTube.’ “
OLD: “Our son had a quick assembly together with his educational adviser, who informed him his first two years, as anticipated, can be principally required courses together with basic literature, philosophy, math, a overseas language and historical past. However he was excited to study he might select an ‘elective’ every semester. Such…